CLASS RECORD: Unusual pieces of advice from mothers PDF Print E-mail
Friday, 16 May 2014 11:23

BY Christine Y. Guinacaran


I have a collection of queer, yet well-meaning advices from mothers to their children, which you might find interesting. Mind you, these are true, and were recounted to me by the mothers themselves, or who knew the mothers personally.  Here they are:

Start wearing high heels- A thirteen year old high school girl told her teacher about this “very important” instruction from her mother. And that is to walk in high heels as often as she could, that she may know how to walk naturally on her wedding day.  “Really now?” The teacher responded, surprised with this premature advice.  “Yes, and I have to practice wearing up to six inches, because the groom might be very tall and it would be awkward in the pictures if our heights do not match.”  The student added seriously.  “Well, just be careful in doing so”, replied the teacher, thinking about the wasted effort if she falls in love with a short man.

Rich, old and sickly- These may be a bizarre criteria for choosing a man, but this actually was the advice given by somebody to her daughters when they were about to migrate to the US. I thought at first that she was joking, but as she constantly repeated this, and I realized that she was serious after all. “ Why that kind of man? “ I finally mustered to ask. “Your daughters might be contaminated with the sickness”.This I added jokingly. “Because America has high quality medicines which could cure any disease since they are still young, then they will have the money to enjoy life there, when the husband finally dies.  (I will not say a word.)

A jobless job- A mother usually gives these kinds of advice regarding work: “Don’t be late”; “Keep your table neat”; “Be excellent”; “Go another mile”; “Choose a career you enjoy “; “Be honest” and many other sound instructions.  However, this mother imparted this uncommon advice to her stout, almost six-feet boy.  “Choose a job where most of the time you will just sit down, joke with peers and do nothing.” When asked why she likes her son to have that kind of job, she said that she has seen her father toil very hard as a laborer for a few pesos, her husband is also the same, so she is doing her best to let her boy finish college to be able to get a work where even if he just sits down, he is paid big money. (Perhaps this is the reason why there are office workers who talk and joke among themselves during work hours while many clients are waiting to be attended to.)

Beautiful are the feet of those... -My friend related this story to me. Her aunt had a strong aversion to lazy women.  So since her son was a little boy, she constantly gave him this orientation on beauty:  “A beautiful woman has feet with toes spread like ginger.”  So every time they would walk on the hills to get firewood, or go to the market to buy their supplies, or ride a jeepney, she would secretly refer to a girl’s feet and comment in a low voice about her beauty.  The wider the toes are spread out the more beautiful. She really believed that if a lady’s toes were very spread apart, she was used to crisscrossing the hills barefooted, carrying water or crops on her head, using her toes to balance herself, thus that effect on her feet.(I used to think  feet were hereditary. Now, I know better --It’s both hereditary and lifestyle)

These are all well-meant and sincere advices from mothers to their children, and whether we agree or disagree, the important thing is to honor our mother no matter what idiosyncrasies they have. So albeit late, “ Happy mothers’ Day to all well-intentioned mothers out there, from Class Record!