Harmony in disagreement PDF Print E-mail
Wednesday, 17 December 2014 11:30

By REMEDIOS F. MARMOLEÑO

 

 

“ A friend is someone you can disagree with but who will think no less of you because you did so.”

Of course it is presumed that one can disagree with another without being disagreeable about it. There are some people though with whom you can disagree with in the kindest way but who will still take offense because you will not, or did not, take the same position as he did.  This is one of the blocks to effective communication between people.

In a multi-cultural society like what we have in ZC our responses to situations may stem from, as they often do,  our different cultural upbringings or background.  On the other hand it would be a fallacy that because we do not always agree with each other’s positions that we cannot live in harmony with each other. It is possible to live in harmony even if we don’t always agree with each other so long as there is a continuing respect for the personhood of each other.

In music harmony is achieved when two or more notes are played  at  the same time and a pleasing sound is produced. If we carry this analogy to inter-personal  relations,  friendship becomes more meaningful between two persons if they take different positions on an issue and still maintain their friendship.

At present there is the issue of the creation of the Bangsamoro entity. On both sides, Bangsamoro and not, there are those who are in favor and those who are against the creation of the BE. Differences in opinion and positions are marks of a democratic atmosphere. We should respect that if we truly accept the principles of democracy. I am not sugar coating things by saying this will be easy. On the other hand our harmonious relationship will not thrive if we cannot bear witness to the principles.

Another thing that we should keep in mind is to define clearly what it is that we agree or disagree about.  For instance, in the case of  ZC support for the BE should not be construed as supporting the inclusion of Zamboanga in the BE. The creation of the BE and the inclusion of Zamboanga in the BE are two separate ideas. Some people find this difficult to understand.

And because there is some discomfort about annoying a friend there is the tendency not to share opinions anymore, lest an argument ensue and the friendship is threatened.  This is not what opening one’s mind and heart is to one another, which is one of the great rewards of friendship. It is only when we talk and share our opinions, even those that do not conform to each other, that the bonds of friendship are strengthened.