CLASS RECORD: What matters most PDF Print E-mail
Friday, 27 February 2015 13:14

BY Christine Y. Guinacaran

 

What are we to do, when people blame or gossip about our children?

The son of my friend was suspected by his aunt of stealing P8,000.00!

If the accusation was just losing his aunt’s P8,000.00, it would be a problem, but not an insult.  So my friend fought with the aunt and became too depressed to know how to comfort  him.

And since I could think clearer, because I was not involved, I gave her this advice to give her son:

“ The bottom-line is always the truth.  If you did not do it, do not be affected. If you are consistently honest, you will be cleared.”

I also heard of a parent who was called to the guidance office because her daughter wrote disrespectful words about a male teacher, on the wall of the school restroom.

The girl denied this, even if there were several classmates who testified that they in fact saw her. The parents, aunts and all the family representatives who appeared at the guidance office, scolded these disloyal classmates, and fought hard to clear the girl.

The bottom-line is again the truth. If this were my case, I would also wish that it were not true, because I do not like my girl to be disrespectful and underhanded.  It will affect her life one day.

But I will not be too in a hurry to clear her.  My mission as a parent is make sure that my children are respectful, honest and virtuous. It is not to force people to think well of them, even if it is not true.

So, I will listen  to the witnesses objectively and if the reports are just laden with malice and prejudice, I will think twice before believing them. But if the reports are factual, and I find out that my daughter was telling a lie, I will let her apologize and deal with her, myself, later on. She would know that such behavior is not tolerated in our family. She will also have a punishment for lying.

Once also, my daughter was a subject of a bitter group of young people, who warned a male newcomer not to be close to her, because, according to them, “You just don’t know her yet.”

When this reached my daughter, she was amused and imagined herself a seductress just waiting for any boy to fall in her trap.

I was glad that her sense of humor got the better of her, instead of moping  at the side because  of the insulting innuendos.

And frankly, I’d rather that she is gossiped about, and there’s nothing to it, than appearing very upright, but does some illicit actions in  secret.

And finally, here’s a worthy saying to remember when we are insulted,

“ An insult always goes back to the one who gave it, and if the insult is true, we can always improve ourselves.” — Lynn Toler