Of captains and villains PDF Print E-mail
Thursday, 10 March 2016 13:53

BEHIND  THE  LINES

BY BOB JALDON

 

Los Angeles, CA. — There are 98 of them — some young, some middle-aged, some old enough to pee in their pants. They come in all shapes and sizes. In the far away galaxy, trillions of planets exist. Scientists are still trying to determine whether or not strange kinds of living things — animals and creatures — live there. While there may be good aliens, there are also bad ones — the villains — that lurk everywhere in Planet Zamboanga. They join forces with “The Sith”, the power-hungry organization of the dark side.

Now, let’s imagine a little of Star Wars where The Sith created the Galactic Empire so he could rule the entire galaxy. A little role playing, if I may: let’s pretend that Zamcelco is The Sith, with Darth Vader (you can put a name on him) who was Jedi once, is the evil Sith Lord.

Enter the force led by Luke “Celso” Skywalker, the most powerful Jedi knight of all time. Often tempted to join the dark side, Jedi Celso uses The Force for good ends. Enter Obi-Wan “Beng” Kenobi, a noble Jedi. She fights for what she thinks is right, even if it meant battling a friend — Jedi Celso.

Ever since Jedi Celso was policing the galaxy, his army was (is?) his 98 (not all of them) troopers who followed him to many victories. This big block of captains and their droid armies of kagawads were the deciding force that brought the Lobregat Empire to power. The droids do what they are programmed to do by Jedi Celso. They come in all forms.

Now, Jedi Celso and Obi-Wan Beng must fight a common enemy to win the hearts of the people living in Planet Zamboanga. Together, they shall do battle with Darth Vader and his cohorts Count Dooku, Asajj Ventress, Darth Maul and Galen Marek whose weaponry include the Death Star and starships known as the infiltrators. (You know who they are.)

For years, the Lobregat Empire has been doing battle with The Sith over the corrupted management of the galaxy’s main source of power. It begun with the increase in rates per kilowatt hour and ended (not quite yet) with the supply of power from Planets Alsons, TMI, Mapalad and Psalm to keep Planet Zamboanga alive.

But oh me, oh my, The Sith, the villain that it is, is incapable to delivering the power that Planet Zamboanga needs because of its old and rotting power lines. Rehabilitation work that should have been done years ago is now being addressed in some areas to avoid a total disaster. That explains why portions of Planet Zamboanga go dark because of these maintenance and upgrading works.

The Galactic Empire run by The Sith has been mismanaged for years that an independent management consultant MUST step in to run it until it becomes financially viable. This project should be rushed — to save Planet Zamboanga from total darkness. Never underestimate the power of the dark side.

More than the 98 troopers and their armies, Jedi Celso and Obi-Wan Beng will need the help of Commander Cody, alias National Electrification Administration, to push for the Enhancement Program to sideline The Sith and his squad and put the Galactic Empire into forward motion.

Now, back to reality. It’s easy to choose our leaders. I said before that Rep. Celso L. Lobregat bought tracts of lands for the urban poor. Mayor Ma. Isabel G. Climaco-Salazar is starting to fill these lands with informal settlers. Thomas Jefferson, speaking before Republicans in Washington County, Maryland in 1809, said: “The care of human life and happiness is the first and only legitimate object of good government.”

By the way, what’s this yarn about fugitive MNLF chieftain Nur Misuari endorsing the candidacy of Mayor Rodrigo Duterte? To what end, Hadji Nur?

In exchange for self-rule?